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Practicing Happiness

The concept of “Happiness” has been undervalued, misunderstood, and maligned as being the frosting on the cake after the “real” work of living in action – planning, doing, struggling -- is done. You’ve probably heard statements such as: “I’ll be happy when I…” “After I get done with this, then I’ll be happy.” I used to talk like that, too.
Liah Kraft-Kristaine

Liah Kraft-Kristaine

Author, Speaker, Happiness Coach

The concept of “Happiness” has been undervalued, misunderstood, and maligned as being the frosting on the cake after the “real” work of living in action – planning, doing, struggling — is done. You’ve probably heard statements such as: “I’ll be happy when I…” “After I get done with this, then I’ll be happy.” I used to talk like that, too.

Me: A Horse in Blinders

I grew up working hard, earning money from jobs, starting when I was nine. I learned to set goals and constantly kept myself on a schedule equal to that of a caffeine-cooked executive. By the time I was twelve, I had fifteen piano students. At fourteen, I had three concurrent jobs. I was my high school valedictorian. I earned a college scholarship, but still needed to work at three jobs. At age 20,I graduated from college magna cum laude with three majors in three years.

 

Living the dream? Hardly. I had a full-blown ulcer and I strictly avoided asking myself whether I was happy. In my last semester of college, I read that Aristotle believed that the goal of all living is to be happy. That made me cry.

 

At every turn in my twenties I fought off depression. Then, my mother died, I left my marriage, and I decided that the practice of law wasn’t what I wanted to do. I went into a six-month depression, right in the middle of a book contract I had with Random House.

 

Sudden Change

 

While sleeping one night during that depression, I was awakened in shock by the commanding voice of an angel or guide – an unseen entity – that scared me out of my wits, and encouraged me to sit down and write a program about happiness. (More about that at another time.) I used that program while I wrote it and afterwards, over and over again. Step by step, it helped me to undo years of unhealthy thinking, choices and behaviors. It definitely was not an instantaneous reform for me. I invested time and commitment then, and continue to use that program for reinforcement. I continually grow.

Happiness: The Key to Manifesting

I have now been teaching the concept of happiness for decades: How to get there, stay there, and resist the many temptations to abandon that vibration. Why am I so totally committed to teaching happiness skills? Because I want to help people to understand that staying in the happiness vibe gives them extraordinary additional power to co-create and live their dreams. It is only by humming with that vibration that we humans become really good co-creators. And the skills we need to get there – emotional intelligence skills – are the very same messages that Jesus tried to convey.

 

While I was lucky enough to learn about miracles when I was very young, and I had learned about decrees and affirmations in young adulthood (e.g., my book contract with Random House), I still had a very incomplete idea of how things and events come into physical reality. I understood that some things we want are not for our good, but other requests are right on our path. I also know that sometimes we ask for something because we are inspired to do so, as if the Universe has whispered in our ear, which is the most obvious act of “co-creating”. And I know that we need to “believe” – be receptive – but so much can get in the way.

 

The truth is, we are always co-creating, never creating of our own singular strength and intention. The energy and light of the Universe does the filling in of the idea, after we have created the outline or blueprint, with our choices, some of which are inspired, some of which are not. And the energy of the Universe flows through us in order to create that magnetism that attracts the opportunities, prosperity, people, situations, physical objects… all that we have asked for.

Why Does It Seem to Work Only Sometimes?

Some people create more easily and quickly than others. Sometimes that’s because they are intensely focused and their expectation is clear and powerful. Sometimes it’s because they know the secret of being in tune and receptive to their good by training themselves to stay in the happiness vibe.

 

When prayer isn’t answered, or doesn’t seem to be, I believe that there are a few reasons. Sometimes, your request isn’t in your best interest. Sometimes, the timing isn’t right yet. And sometimes, it’s because you have pinched off both your power to create and your receptivity. In other words, your most consistent “vibe” doesn’t resonate with the good you’re asking for. The good that you want simply can’t come to you because you don’t “match” it energetically (the “Law of Attraction”).

You Really ARE in Charge

The great news is that your “attraction point” can change! You’ve heard about or seen “The Secret” perhaps? While it is true that we can ask for what we want and we can attract it to ourselves, the most important work isn’t in choosing our wishes. Our most important work is in choosing our own vibration consistently.

 

If you are hoping for delightful, uplifting, rewarding events, you must practice feeling delighted and uplifted long enough to be a match for the thing that you desire. You probably know this very well. And you may think that it’s not fair to be asked to feel delighted before the money arrives, or the lover, or the job. Many feel downright annoyed that it’s important to feel happy before the good stuff can come.

How We Get “Off-key”

Being happy is, of course, its own reward. It’s easy to forget that losing that feeling of happiness has enormous ramifications. We get pulled away by life’s events. And in the year of 2020, my guess is that we had at least three or four times the usual opportunities to “lose it”. As we read something, walked down the sidewalk, heard the radio or saw the television, we made hundreds of choices: Feel angry or not? Criticize or not? Ridicule or not? Be annoyed or not? Hate or not? Stay peaceful and certain?

 

Hundreds of forks in the road, all day long, every day. And every time you “fork away” from happiness, love, peacefulness, enjoyment, and other good feelings, you move away from the good that you want to receive in your life. That is the painful truth.

 

An interesting way to get personal clarity is to ask a friend, “How often am I happy, and by that, I mean praising people or things, being thankful for this or that, bringing up a good piece of news, reporting on a positive bit of info about someone; and how often am I reporting on negative news, denigrating people or events, focusing on what is irritating me, annoying me, and making me angry?”

Getting on the Happiness Ride

If you are really ready to ride the power of happiness to manifest more of what you want, get on a happiness program. Work with yourself daily to strengthen the mental/emotional muscle that helps you to choose better at each fork in the road. You will discover that you will immediately feel better, more hopeful, more positive, and you will soon have greater physical and mental energy.

 

As I began to work with the happiness program that I had been guided to write, I found that setting up a calendar helped me to stay focused on responding to life in a calmer way. After a couple of weeks, I found that I could stay for longer and longer periods of time in an elevated state of mind, a bit like re-visiting a memory that makes you smile.

 

With the help of the happiness program, I pushed myself to uncover my own hidden landmines that could trigger unhappiness, and I learned to defuse them. I became so much more aware that it isn’t just reactionary emotions such as anger, disappointment, depression, fear, hatred, irritability, jealousy or envy that can obliterate happiness, it’s past painful memories, or dark pockets of low self-esteem, or self-limitation that hampers hopes and dreams. To develop more than just a thin veneer of happiness, it helps to have the emotional daring to take a deep dive within.

“Miracles” Start Happening

A couple of weeks into the program, I started to notice that fun, lucky things were happening, small at first, like finding what I wanted on sale. Then, business started to pick up, and I had new contracts to write articles for national magazines. After that, due to a string of interesting coincidences, I found myself offering an idea for a show that I thought CNN should think about producing. Ninety minutes later, I had been hired by CNN to write and host my own live international show segment, with no degree in journalism or broadcasting!

 

I firmly know that cultivating the happiness mindset helped to create astounding, even improbable opportunities. I can honestly say that I didn’t visualize those events listed above because I didn’t even know that some of them could be possible.

 

However, after publishing my “30 Days to Happiness” program and receiving letters from all around the world, I began to visualize being on the Oprah Winfrey Show. I didn’t know what the odds were, and I didn’t care. I filled my cup daily with a big dose of joy. On the 30th (!) day of visualization, I received a call from an Oprah producer who booked me for the show!

 

That Oprah appearance changed the course of my life. I had planned to be a hermit and hand my completed books out the window to someone who would know what to do with them. Instead, I have spoken in nearly 500 cities on four continents, taught my Life Coach Certification program internationally, and I coach groups and entrepreneurs to take action while using happiness manifesting techniques.

The Happiness Tune-Up Program

I created my 30-Day Happiness Tune-Up program to serve as a virtual Happiness Tutor, complete with daily video. Every day, there is a quick dose of video, audio, reading or writing, plus an action to do. I know that the more you immerse yourself in both understanding and action, the faster you will see results in the situations in your life. You can watch and listen as many times as you want, and you can share it. You can talk about it with others interested in creating their lives, as well.

 

As a bonus to this program, you can attend three online Zoom sessions with me, two weeks apart, where we will discuss the topics in the program, then have an energetic Q & A session! We’ll also share experiences and good happenings.

 

If you would like to know my work better, please visit my new YouTube channel, LifeKrafting with Liah K-K. And check out my complete program at www.LifeKraft.com/unity I look forward to hearing from you.

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